Hello family, friends, and random people who end up on my site,
I'm doing OK right now. My heart is broken, and my days are definitely missing something really significant. But, I don't feel empty or lonely. So many friends and family members have really supported me through this tough year. I just want everyone to know that I'm really taking care of myself right now. I meditate daily for an hour or two, eat very healthy foods, exercise regularly (climbing now on the weekends and yoga during the week), and I'm starting to get out more with friends. I'm especially enjoying walks around Boulder in the evenings. The smells of springtime fill me with joy. It is tempered by sadness. But, I'm beginning to realize that to be present with those things is really opening my world. I can't explain yet, but I feel more grounded and relaxed than I have ever. I still have much to work out, many lessons to learn, and many more hours to meditate, but I'm not in as much of a rush to get these things done. As with my sadness, it will change over time. I'm no longer worried about being unmotivated. My high levels of motivation and energy will never go away. As one of my Buddhist teachers told me a few years ago, "Lizzy, you will still get a lot done, but you may just be more relaxed about getting those things done." He was right.
On a very positive note, I am going to spend 8 days on a meditation retreat with Pema Chodron, a Buddhist nun who has been incredibly influential on my path. I'm really looking forward to it. I'm also looking forward to a women's rock weekend in New Hampshire, organized by Sarah Garlick, and for which I'll be teaching (along with my good friend, Heidi). And, I'll be visiting my brother in NM and climbing at Paradise Forks over the July 4 weekend. Fun stuff! I'll start posting more photos and fun stuff then.
I'm thinking things may slow down for me for a while. Of course, you never know, and I'm trying to "abandon all hope of fruition," but I feel a deep sense of relaxation impending. Ahhh...
Much love to you all,
1 year ago